People who offend us–Matthew 5:39

A short while ago, I was faced with a dilemma.  I posted something on my Facebook wall.  It generated a few “likes” and a comment.  The comment was from somebody who had taken offence to what I had posted.  The offence was caused because the post tended to stereotype women into a specific field and this person did not fit the stereotype.  Where I would of said something along the lines of “Wow – I’m unique, I don’t fit the mould on this one” the person who left the comment seemed genuinely upset about it to the point where she offended my belief by using the name of my Lord and Saviour as swearing in the body of her comment.

Now the dilemma that I was faced with, somebody (who is not a Christian) used one of my posts to say something I am against and I don’t want my on my Facebook wall.  The way I see it is I had 5 options.

1. I delete the comment without saying anything.  If I do this however, I am basically censoring somebody else’s opinion.  Everybody has the right to the freedom of expression, and in a strange way I am no better than the person who posted the comment because I didn’t show her the love of Jesus Christ.  Instead I am showing her narrow-mindedness.
2. I delete the comment and send the person a message telling them that the comment offended me and hence why I removed it.  I am still censoring the person and in this case they know why.  In the persons mind they’ll probably think “Stupid Christian, taking offence to every little thing.” – I still didn’t show the person the love of Jesus Christ, and I am not favourably representing the Christian faith to her.
3. I challenge the person by informing them publically that I did not appreciate the comment, but leave it up.  This will probably result in an argument that nobody will win. – I still didn’t show the person the love of Jesus Christ, in fact I am promoting an argument.
4. I ignore the comment, leaving it up on the post.  In this way I turn the other cheek and refuse to play the game. – I still didn’t show the person the love of Jesus Christ, although I took a more “neutral” stance on the matter.
5. I turn the cheek on the part that I take offense to, forgiving the person for offending me, and reply on the comment in a positive way, showing love in the process. 

I chose to do #5 and did the best I could in the circumstances, praising the person for being unique and not fitting into the stereotype, and gently explaining that the stereotype probably fits 90% of my female friends – myself included.

This isn’t the first time I have had to deal with somebody swearing on my Facebook wall in response to one of my comments.  The last time I was, unfortunately, more immature than I am now and I confronted the person about their language, telling them politely that I did not appreciate it.  This wasn’t so bad, except I did it publically.  It would have been better if I had done it privately.

So what do we do when faced with people who offend us?  We do what we were told to do in Matthew 5:39:

But I tell you, do not resist an evil person. If anyone slaps you on the right cheek, turn to them the other cheek also.

Notice how it says: “do not resist and evil person”.  Naturally if a fellow Christian was to do what the woman I mentioned above did, then I would confront them about it, but since the person who commented is not a Christian, different rules apply. 

So if you are offended by somebody, take a breath.  Is that person a Christian? If so then confront them privately about the offence once you have collected your thoughts (try do it the next day only).  If the person is not a Christian, turn the other cheek and show them the love of Jesus Christ instead.

Admirable Character Traits of Disney Princesses (Part 7)

This Disney princess is definitely the most independent woman of them all.

I remember that my cousin dressed up as Pocahontas for one of her birthday parties.  I must be honest, that this specific cousin’s personality really matches that of Pocahontas!

So what are the character traits of this out of the box Disney Princess that we can admire?

1. See’s common ground – The one trait of Pocahontas that stands out is that she is able to find common ground among people no matter how different they are from each other.  She’ll focus on the what people have in common more than their differences.
2. Brave – she is brave, and brave in a stronger way than Belle was.  While Belle took a brave approach in the face of danger, she was still very sensitive. Pocahontas on the other hand is naturally brave and will even stand up against others when her life is on the line.  She seems to have no fear.
3. Nature Lover – she loves nature and being in the natural world.  I love this about her because one of our first commandments, as Christians, was to care for the Garden of Eden (Genesis 2:15).
4. Teacher – she would eagerly teach others what she knew to be true.  I see this in the way she taught John Smith about the natural world.
5. Compassionate – She cared about other people, animals and nature.  She would see their point of view even if she didn’t fully understand it.
6. Spiritual – This is a touchy subject, but let’s not debate her beliefs compared to Christian beliefs, let’s focus on the character trait of being spiritual instead.  Pocahontas was a deeply spiritual person, she was in touch with the spirit in herself, the spirit of others and the spirit of the world.  Let’s translate this into a Christian context, it is a positive trait to be spiritual and focused on the Trinity (Father, Son, Holy Spirit), because ultimately we are here to serve God and serve our brothers/sisters.  Being so spiritual, can translate in Christianity to being strong in ones faith.
7. Wise – She is a wise young woman, and see’s the world for the way it is.  How can one accurately describe wisdom?

Now these are the traits I have seen in Pocahontas.  What others can you spot?  Leave it in a comment below!

Admirable Character Traits of Disney Princesses (Part 6)

Jasmine, the headstrong princess.  My oh my, what to say about her….

Jasmine is such a unique character.  She has it all, wealth, good looks, charm, intelligence… and an only child!  A long story short, Jasmine is the spoiled rich girl.  She has everything, but what about her positive character traits?

1. Guards her heart – she is not the sort of woman to give her heart to any man.  She is a princess and he needs to prove himself worthy of her love and her heart.  I think this is such an important trait for a woman to have.
2. Values character over wealth – maybe it is because she doesn’t need any more wealth, but I would like to believe Jasmine truly valued a man’s character over his financial background or reputation.
3. Loving and generous – she was a loving woman, you can see it in how much she cared for her father and pet tiger.  It can also be seen in the way she helped the child reach for the apple.
4. Clever – even though she was naive in regards to the world, she was a clever woman and I imagine she was well-educated.
5. Confident – Princess Jasmine always held her head high, she always gave the impression that she was sure of herself and who she was.

There are a few other character traits of Jasmine’s that could be seen in a negative light, but if they are channelled/managed correctly, they can be very powerful personality traits.

1. Head-strong – She had her beliefs and nobody could tell her otherwise.  This trait can very easily be a negative because if a person is head-strong about the wrong things you are bound to fail.  But being head-strong about righteous causes can be an amazing positive trait.  For example, a mother being head-strong in raising her children according to Biblical principles.
2. Outspoken – this trait also has the potential to be a negative.  If a person is outspoken and their words are hurtful to another then this definitely is a negative.  Take an example where an outspoken lady stood up for somebody who was being pushed down by others.  The friend had a passive personality and would just take all the harmful words, going home to cry about it later, the outspoken woman spoke out on behalf of the passive friend.  In a case like this, being outspoken can be a positive, but it must be used correctly.

So these are the traits I’ve spotted in Princess Jasmine, can you spot any more?

Recipe: Condensed Milk Substitute

Hello readers, a friend of mine shared this with me a week or two ago.  I haven’t tried it yet, but I am told that it works very well.  Thank you to Terence for the share.

Ingredients:

• 1 cup skim milk powder
• 2/3 cup sugar
• 1/3 cup boiling water
• 3 tablespoons melted butter or baking margarine

Method:

1. Dissolve the sugar in the water then blend all ingredients together well.
2. Let it sit in the fridge for a day before using.

Admirable Character Traits of Disney Princesses (Part 5)

I’ve had a great deal of difficulty with this instalment of the Disney Princess series because this princess is my favourite.  I’ve studied this character more than any others, and yet I still struggle to sum her up completely.  The fifth Disney Princess is Belle from Beauty and the Beast.  I think that she most resembles the character of Elizabeth from the Jane Austin book, Pride and Prejudice, and this may be one of the reasons why I like both characters equally.

So let’s take a look at her positive character traits:

1. Intelligent – she is a very smart woman and continues to further her intelligence through reading.  This is a positive trait for a woman to have because a woman who knows a lot is better able to hold an intelligent conversation with other people and less likely to fill the conversation with frivolous gossip.
2. Thinks for herself – she is not the sort of woman who will follow blindly, she is not a sheep.  She will form her own opinion and is extremely unhappy when she feels as though she is being forced to be something she is not.  This is a positive trait for a woman to have in that it allows her to be willing to stand out from the crowd, and she doesn’t rely on other people to form opinions for her.  There are times when it is better to follow obediently, but there are also times that require a person to think for themselves and question everything, so the questioning personality is definitely a positive trait.
3. Imaginative – she has a “hyper-active” imagination and is often in a dream land.  If this trait is channelled into the world correctly it can be a positive trait.  I can imagine Belle with children where she would give them a big cardboard box, a broom and newspaper to turn into a sailing ship, and keep them occupied the whole afternoon.
4. Patient – she is not afraid to speak her mind, but she is patient with other people’s faults.  The beast had many faults, and over time she gently encouraged him to become a gentleman.  Who knows how much time passed during her arrival to the castle and the grand ball that was so famous.
5. Unconcerned by appearances – she doesn’t mind what other people think of her, and she is unconcerned by her appearance.  She is beautiful, but seemingly unaware of it.  She is not impressed by the “handsome” Gaston, but rather falls for a Beast who is a gentleman.
6. Loyal – when she made the promise she stuck to the promise, she also showed extreme loyalty to her friends and father.
7. Self-less – she took the place of her father in the beasts prison.
8. Courageous – she was a valiant woman, and appears to not be scared of anything.

Do any readers have anything to add to this list?  How do you feel about this Disney Princess?

Recipe: Banana Honey Muffins

This recipe is great for breakfast or a teatime treat.  It makes about 9-12 depending on the size of your muffin pan.

Ingredients:

• 175ml whole-wheat flour
• 175ml cake flour
• 150ml rolled oats
• 10ml baking powder
• 1ml cinnamon or mixed spice
• 2ml salt
• 1 egg
• 175ml milk
• 2 medium-size ripe bananas, peeled and mashed
• 60ml margarine
• 50ml Honey

Method:

1. Preheat oven to 200ºC
2. Combine whole-wheat flour, cake flour, rolled oats, baking powder, spice and salt in a bowl, stir to mix.
3. Beat egg in a bowl, stir in milk, banana, melted margarine and honey.
4. Pour all at once into flour mixture, stir just until evenly moist.  Do NOT over mix.
5. Spoon into greased muffin-pans, filling each 2/3 full.
6. Bake 15-20 minutes or until golden
7. Loosen muffins around edges of cups with a knife, turn onto a wire rack.  Serve hot and spread with Margarine.

The traditional woman

I’m taking a break from the Disney Princess series to write about The traditional woman.

A little while ago I read an article written by a man who basically accused women who wanted to be more “traditional” in their role as a women (meaning, man should be the bread winner and woman the stay at home mom) of being lazy and looking for a free ride off a man. (see article here: http://www.avoiceformen.com/miscellaneous/a-letter-to-traditional-women/)

I must say that when the “Super-model” woman (whose only interest is in day spa’s and living a luxurious life) tells her man that she is a traditional woman then I agree with the sentiments expressed in the article above.  HOWEVER, I strongly disagree with the article, because I see that what he is thinking of is not a true traditional woman.

I would describe a traditional woman as follows (please note this would be a woman who relies on her husband to provide, and any income she makes from hobbies is a bonus):

• Feminine, kind and soft hearted.  She honestly wouldn’t cope in a corporate or working world – it would literally break her.
• Hard worker within the home.  She is the sort of woman who would not hire a maid.  She would do all the cooking and cleaning herself, unless it is definitely too much for her to handle, or her husband is so wealthy he can afford one so she can focus on other tasks around the house.
• Raise the children.  Whether the children do home schooling or go to a school, she would be available to them and raise them without a nanny, au pair, babysitter or day care.
• Her hobbies are things which benefit the household.  Things like sewing, knitting, baking, gardening, and so on.  These could save money within the household, or earn money for the household.
• Any other hobbies would benefit the community she lives in.  These could be things like fund-raisers for soup kitchens or orphanages, or even being the ear to listen to her friends and neighbours problems over a cup of coffee.  Or helping her husband advance in his career by nurturing friendships with key people in the business.
• When her husband is at home, she wants to fulfil his needs, whether that is bringing him a beer while he watches TV or other things that are definitely not PG13.

So if a woman is truly a traditional woman, as she says she is, then marrying one is by far a very smart move any man can make because ultimately he is getting a maid, a cook and a nanny by providing for 1 persons basic needs (and I am sure that it would cost a lot more to hire one of these three than support a wife!)  Not only does he get all three in one woman, but he also could benefit from her hobbies in other small ways that definitely add up over time.

I’m not saying a man should only considering marrying a traditional woman, women who work bring other advantages (a second income) to the household.  And I am not saying every woman should be a traditional lady.  There are definitely woman who would go crazy being stay-at-home moms.  All I am saying is that if you are one of these women who would thrive as a housewife don’t feel you have to get a job (unless you don’t have a man who can to support you – then you better find a job quickly).  And men, if you find a traditional woman (in the true sense of the word) then hang onto her, and treat her like you would treat a queen, because ultimately she is a gem!

For more on the traditional woman, read Proverbs 31:10-31