Tuesday, August 7, 2012

Women's Conflict

Lately I have been researching a topic that is extremely interesting to me. I've noticed an unspoken trend. Modern women, who are married with children, appear to have conflicting hearts.

On one side they wish to be stay at home moms, dedicating their time to maintaining the home and providing a safe-haven for their husbands and children.

On the other side they feel guilty about this desire because they feel it unfair that their husband is the only one out their earning a living. They feel guilty because quite often they are more qualified than their husbands (academically) and could probably earn a larger salary. Women feel guilty because the slightly older generation puts so much emphasis on being independent and being able to provide for yourself.

I'm sure that any woman who becomes a wife and mother will go through this conflict. I've been reading blog after blog written by women who either want to be stay at home mothers, but financially they cannot afford it, or alternatively have given up a career outside the home to care for their families.

Many women in the second group still work, and work extremely hard, just in different ways, in ways that society doesn't always deem acceptable for a well-educated lady.

These women are up at the crack of dawn preparing breakfast for their families. Can you imagine sitting down to a healthy full breakfast every morning rather than just a bowl of cereal and some toast?

These women pack lunches for their husbands to take to work with them so that their husbands don't have to spend money on buying a meal (and I'm sure the packed lunches are much healthier).

Many of these women home school their children. Who can know a child better than a parent? Where in the school system the teacher has only a year with the child to learn their likes, dislikes and learning style, a parent can learn these about their child and build them up over 18 years!

None of the women who live at home, working in their household have maids / domestic workers to help them. The woman is solely responsible for cleaning and doing the laundry. Some of these women even maintain the gardens.

And who is always available to listen to the problems of those in the household? Who is available to advise? Who comforts the sick? These wonderful women who stay at home to care for their families.

Some of these women, even run small businesses from home for extra income, cleaning, baking, making and selling stuff online, writing blogs, writing books etc.

So in essence these housewives have more than one job... They are chefs, maids, teachers, psychiatrists, business women, managers, nurses and gardeners! A woman who stays at home is many things.

Sometimes I wonder if this is why women have a harder time (in general) focusing on a specific career. Women seem to want to do it all because they were made to do it all, and they know they can do it all.

Now, in this post I was speaking of married women, especially married women with children. I didn't mention anything about single women.

I personally don't think you can compare a single woman's duties to that of a married woman. A single woman needs to be able to provide for herself, so as not to be a burden on her parents or other male relative. This post is specifically about married women.

So if you are single, I feel that it is your responsibility to be able to live independently. However, I feel that a married woman's number one priority is to be a help meet to her husband, in whichever way that may be.

Well there you go, that's my opinion on this topic out in the open!

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